Sunday, April 10, 2011

Typical Sunday Night/Did That Just Turn Me On?

Please do not read if you are under 18 years old.

I am over 18. I am under 18.

I wake up at 1pm today and the sun is screaming through my window like I'm camping out on Mercury. I need to get up, not cuz I have anything to do, but I have to piss so bad I can't stay in bed til 3 like I want. Little did I know that this feeling soon would be revisited.

Since its mid April and about 70 degrees outside I'm thinking one thing. Beers and the beach. Well two things, but fuck it. Then I think "oh yeah one of my bros has a beach house" so I floor it over there. But as I arrive the cold North Atlantic winds that sunk the Bismarck start flowing up my skirt. Looks like my day of beach lacrosse and drinking by myself is kaput. Now my plans are relegated to playing Lego Harry Potter on PS3 and watching Trailer Park Boys re-runs.

As good as this sounds it gets better.

All of a sudden babes come screaming off the beach with their nips cutting holes through their shirts. Then, probably in one of the greatest decisions in human history was made. One girl decides to piss behind her car parked on a busy road nonetheless (is that even a word?). Panties drop, piss drips, me and my bros are screaming with our eyes glued to the window like a sucker fish at the pet store. Time for some embarrassment. We all go out in the front yard to make it known that we just sneaked a peek and my bro Dan screams "Whats your number?" and her jaw hits the deck. "Im sorry" she say and I scream back "Its ok I liked it!"

I lied, I loved it.

This video is an obvious example of how to do the previous mentioned act correctly.

1 comment:

  1. this just made my day. no joke.

    p.s. this story is almost 100% true people. i am a witness. the part about me asking for the 16 year-olds number is in fact false though. you slandering whore duke!